How to write an obituary

Note: This is an opinion of a hobby genealogist and not meant to be a guideline in journalism

When someone near and dear to you passes on to the great beyond it is a sad time for those of us left here in this world. Most people feel that you should notify all friends and family.

I believe in the following principles:

(1)  My grandfather told me at an early age to be proud of your middle name and use it for all official signatures. The name was chosen for you for a reason. It helps distinguish you from others with similar names.

(2)  It takes at least two parents and four grandparents to create a life. Every person’s genes who contributed should be mentioned in the obituary. When visiting old cemeteries I get so depressed to see “J.C. Smith & Mrs. J.C. Smith” as the only info on a pair of headstones.  First off, J.C. had a name, not just initials. Secondly, there is absolutely no clue who “Mrs. Smith” is other than “mystery J.C.’s” wife. Over time the four wonderful grandparents that created “Mrs. Smith” may be forgotten and that part of “history” lost forever.

(3)  Ok, life happens… divorce is a part of life sometimes. Especially if a couple stayed together long enough to create a life then that spouse deserves a mention. My opinion is that you owe it to the offspring to not let their bloodline be forgotten. Maybe the spouse was not around long enough to even know the child but someday that child will have questions that deserve an answer. I am not saying to make a shrine for them just don’t try to bury the facts.

So, a proper obituary might look like this:

Jerome Calvin Smith passed away June 30, 2011. He was born March 13, 1923 in Tarrant County, Texas to Ralph Neal & Betty Mae Brinkley Smith. Jerome married Kimberly Ann Mallory (daughter of Carl Lee & Anna Mae Brown Mallory) in 1947.

Preceded in death by / Survived by:

(List current or most recent spouse then spouse of any children if different.  List names of all children then # of grandkids, great grandkids etc.)

Give info about any family gatherings, memorial services, funeral etc.

I personally do not understand “Memorial service private”.

Really? Do you expect EVERY relative and good friend that might want to pay their respect to see the obituary? Are you going to remember or even know how to reach them all on short notice?

Signed: a concerned genealogist